Waxwork (1988)

"Can't a girl get laid around here without being burned at the stake?"

The beauty of simplicity lies at the heart of many a classic 80's horror film. Take a group of teenagers to an isolated location, pit them against some form of evil; sit back and watch the carnage. There is a lot to be said for an un-convoluted setting up of characters and story, and then throwing you into the madness for the remainder of the 85 minute running time. The Evil Dead, The Funhouse, Night of the Demons and a never ending list of slasher films follow this very basic formula. And you know what? It works, for the most part. The ones that failed badly were the ones that lacked the imagination to find an interesting location or bad guy. The trouble was, by the end of the 80's, they were running out of unused locations, national holidays and masked killers.

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Cloak and Dagger (1984)

"Jack Flack always escapes"

When we were kids, the world really was our playground. Even walking to the shops with your mam could have been an adventure. Rotted old sticks became swords in our hands, cars became monsters to be slayed, roads became treacherous rivers to be crossed. Sadly, most of us grow out of the ability to totally immerse ourselves in our own creations. Well, maybe not all of us. Take the likes of 'Dungeons and Dragons'. You create your own fantasy character; a role of the dice is the difference between left and right or alive and dead, and is all played out on a fairly plain board with only your 'Dungeon Master' to keep everything in check. It seems to be hugely popular, and is played by children and adults alike. I've never played it, but I always felt it would take a lot more mental capacity than I was willing to hand over to fully benefit from the game. It was also confusing looking. I was more of a 'Mouse Trap' kinda guy...

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Armed and Dangerous (1986)

"It's a 50 caliber. They used to use it to hunt buffalo with... up close. It's only legal in two states. And this isn't one of them."

There were two celebrity deaths in 1994 that were pretty notable, for me at least. The most obvious one was a certain Mr Cobain, who decided to end it all at the start of April that year. It was a sad and shocking day for most young grunge/rock/metal fans, myself included. Drug abuse, shotgun suicide; it was pretty sensational stuff, and probably the celebrity death that most defined that era, if not the 90's altogether.

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Days of Wonder

It was the Saturday morning routine. We would go with our mother to the local shopping centre to visit the library; dropping off old books and picking out a few new ones for the week ahead. With our intellectual needs met, my brother and I got left in the video store whilst mam went grocery shopping. It was one of the few places we were ever allowed be on our own. That usually gave us a good 45 minutes to gaze at the seemingly endless walls of glorious VHS tapes. 45 minutes never seemed like long enough, though. Especially as Saturday was the one night of the week that our folks went out, meaning we had to pick out not one, but two videos to keep us entertained for the late afternoon and evening. The poor babysitter.

The 80's was an interesting decade for young, aspiring film buffs, especially if you were under the age of 12. As we had no access to film reviews, you had three ways of finding out what to rent. One; word of mouth from your school friends. This was always a fairly reliable source; we were all action and comedy junkies, whatever had the most explosions/killings/laughs got a guaranteed rental. Two; the trailers you saw on last weeks videotape. (remember when you actually enjoyed watching the trailers before your film started?) The more trailers before the film, the better. And three; by relying on the box art to sell the film to you. The latter was probably the most common method for sleuthing out our evenings viewing.  The wilder and more imaginative the artwork, the more likely you were to pick the film up. Having an major star like Steve Martin in the film was only an added bonus. And being a curious 9 year old, it was no surprise I was drawn to the more lurid looking teenage comedy and horror boxes. Who could resist the charms of such beauty?

Sadly for me, my mother was quite well aware of what was contained within these tapes. Sometimes she slipped up and we got through a 15 Cert if it didn't look too tawdry. Or sometimes we lucked out completely and my clueless father brought us to the video store instead, resulting in a copy of Aliens or something as equally unsuitable coming home with us. But even if we couldn't always get the ones we wanted, the artwork always stuck in my head, landing somewhere on that invisible list of films that I would continuously go back to when I was a bit older and allowed rent whatever I wanted. Those hours spent in front of the video shelves turned me into the horror junkie I was to eventually become in my early teens, as they were the most taboo ones for my folks to allow us to rent. Saying that though, I probably had enough nightmares as it was with the fantasy films I was watching; they REALLY don't make them like they used to. Kids have it too easy these days.

Horror and comedy tapes became a great past time for me and some of my friends in the early 90's. We had our own (limited) cash, so we were able to rent 2 or 3 tapes in the one night if we wanted to. It was during the peak of Xtra Vision and the death of the independent video store, but to us, it meant 50p for an old rental! Somehow, all the oldies we had wanted to see were still there on the shelves, though some were moving dangerously close to the bargain bin. Some of those films never left the bargain bin, and have sadly never made it to DVD.

These days, you walk into a video store and you are lucky to be able to find any films to rent. Xtra Vision, Chartbuster, and Blockbuster have shrunk away due to the rise in downloading and online streaming. Those that remain deal mainly in current releases, video game rental and mobile phone sales. If I want a film review, I just go online. There are hundreds of free access websites for reviews and previews, without having to go anywhere to stare at the boxes. Not that you would want to anyway; the art of film poster design is as dead as VHS itself.

But hey, times have changed, and in many ways, for the better. We no longer watch our entertainment on 21" screens. Digital technology is affordable, meaning I can pick up copies of Porkys II or Return of the Living Dead, in the proper aspect ratio, fully remastered, sometimes with 5.1 surround sound (!!!) for only a few quid. I would definitely take that over pan-and-scan with poor tracking any day. I guess what I miss most is that element of wonder. That childhood excitement about seeing a film. I still get it when I'm reminded of an old VHS cover, or that rare moment when you see Chevy Chase pop up on TV.

I look forward to re-living some of those moments on this blog. Feel free to stop and stare at the boxes; take as long as you need. Old releases are only 50p for two nights. Just make sure you bring them back on time or you will be fined. And always, ALWAYS, rewind your damned videotapes.

"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son"

You know that warm feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you see something from your childhood that you once loved and cherished? Or that 'butter melt' sensation in the brain when something once forgotten comes slowly back to you? Well, I try to live in the place perpetually. And this is my silly-space to record all of those things that have been pushed up into the attic and are all but forgotten about.

My name is John, and I'm a thirty-something obsessive from Dublin, Ireland. Obsessive of what? All sorts of shiny, collectible stuff, really. I've been a film geek from a very young age, and grew up on a lovely diet of horror, violent action, unsuitable-for-kids comedies and mind boggling (for a ten year old) science fiction. I was also into computer and video games from about the age of six, when my dad first introduced me to the delights of the Spectrum 128K. My dad was pretty cutting edge for mid-80's Ireland. From there me and my brothers jumped into the world of Sega with the Mega Drive, and then onto the Playstation and beyond afterwards. I'm an all-rounder when it comes to video games, but I do still love the old stuff, and enjoy nothing more than wasting hours (and pulling hair out) over old-fashioned couch gaming sessions with friends and family.

These days I tend to collect everything from video tapes to comics, and everything else a young (at heart) man could geek out on. I especially love the artwork and poster design from films, starting from the 70's up until the early 90's, when I believe it died a death with the take-over of 'big head' design formats. When I started this blog, I was saddened to see how many films that I used to love (or at least admired the artwork on the video sleeve) had never been released on DVD, nor will they likely be at this point. Coupled with the shaky, three or four line reviews on the likes of IMDB made me determined to at least try and give some of these films a bit better chance of being appreciated, and maybe loved by someone else. The artwork, and films, deserve some form of preservation; if we don't do it, nobody else will. 

Outside of these loves, I work in film in various roles. But, I won't be discussing that kind of thing here. I'm also a huge music fan; everything from classic heavy metal through to grindcore and back to classical music itself. And before I forget, I also really, really, really like a nice, tasty beer. Ales and stouts, especially. 

So, I hope you enjoy this little stop-off on memory lane. If there is anything you would like me to cover, or you just want to say something (preferably non death-threat related), you can get me at:

jpmulvanetti@gmail.com.