National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

"Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer..."

It's sad to see what has become of the 'National Lampoon' name these days; it was sold off years ago and is now used pretty much as a 'cash in' only name on poor teen sex movies - a far cry from what was once a highly regarded moniker in American comedy. Having never read the magazine itself, I only have the films to go by, but my childhood wouldn't have been the same without the Griswold's hilariously sad attempts at going on holidays - be it Wallyworld, Europe or Christmas. There was always just something special about the films, the kind of comedy joy that made you tune in every time they were due to show on TV, no matter how often you had seen them. Even though time has dulled the edges on at least one of those films - European Vacation just doesn't hold up very well for me -  Christmas Vacation still gets a screening in this house every year.

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Christmas Evil (1980)

"You'd better take care... Santa is coming to town!"

For horror fans, having seasonal, 'go to' favourites is par for the course, and Christmas happens to have a host of films that fall nicely into the category. Be it genre classics like 'Black Christmas' or 'Gremlins', there's usually something worth putting your hand to that isn't 'It's a Wonderful Life' to get you through the holidays. One of the less sensational 'seasonal slashers' to come out in the early 80's, Christmas Evil hasn't had the best exposure since its release. Between distribution by Troma and falling into public domain, the film has been experienced by most viewers through terrible VHS-ripped box sets, and rarely given much of a chance to shine on its own. Now that it has gotten legit releases in the last few years, just how well does this blood-soaked Santa suit scrub up?

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Late Night Frights: Invaders From Mars (1953)

"The heavens. Once an object of superstition, awe, and fear. Now a vast region for growing knowledge."

Awakened by what is mistaken for a thunderstorm, young David (Jimmy Hunt) makes it to his bedroom window in time to see what looks like a spaceship landing on the hill behind his house. After telling his parents, his scientist father heads out to investigate, only to return the next morning somewhat altered. His personality has become cold and aggressive, and David notices a bloody puncture wound on the back of his neck.

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The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

"Would you look at Lumpy! He's sure grown, huh? And I think his voice is changing."

The buzz for Star Wars in '78 must have still been quite high; no doubt it was still showing in theatres, with kids desperate to catch another glimpse of that George Lucas magic in the days before VHS players allowed them to rent the film or own it for themselves. Then what better way to capitalise on the films success? A TV special, of course. Airing just in time for Thanksgiving, it seemed like not only the perfect way to sell TV advert space, but to reinforce the brand in the young viewers minds. Irregardless of intentions, something went drastically wrong somewhere, and the 'Holiday Special' has gone down in film history as one of the biggest missteps for a well-loved franchise. But is it really that bad? Does it deserve the endless ridicule it gets?

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Inseminoid (1981)

"Somewhere in the Depth of Space ... A Horrific Nightmare is About to Become a Reality."

In the wake of the smash hit, Alien, came a slew of imitators; all with low budgets, but all hoping to get their grubby fingers on some of that sweet, sweet coinage. Like most cash-ins, they mainly lacked the sheer style and imagination that Scott's film carried, and instead focused on the more exploitative aspects. Inseminoid was one of several films that came out during the early 80's that fell into the 'knock-off' category, but does it deserve its scuzzy reputation?

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The Delta Force (1986)

"They don't negotiate with terrorists... they blow them away!"

I spent a while discussing my lack of interest in Chuck Norris last year, when I watched Missing in Action and was less than enamoured with it. It wasn't just that film, I just hadn't really watched him in anything that made me understand why he was popular. Not to be put off by this, I decided it was time to give another one of his much-loved films a shot. Does The Delta Force hold up any better than Missing in Action?

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Deadly Blessing (1981)

"In the rolling hills of a sinful farm community, untouched by time, a gruesome secret has been protected for generations."

We've discussed Craven's career a few times here at The Nostalgic Attic (recently enough actually, with Swamp Thing) and while many of his minor films have flown below the radar, one that seems to get forgotten about completely is Deadly Blessing. Falling into that grey period between The Hills Have Eyes and career re-launcher that was A Nightmare on Elm Street, is it worth digging out of the vault for a re-evaluation?

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Within the Woods (1978)

There are some films we are so familiar with that it seems pointless even writing about them in any way at all. It's why I seldom cover bigger, well-loved genre films here, and tend to focus on the less championed entries. The likes of The Evil Dead has been spoken about so often on blogs, websites and books that you'd be hard pressed to say anything fresh about it, and if you can't do that, why bother? We know how influential it has been, and how great the sequels are, and how much fun Bruce Campbell is. But what we don't hear about too often is the film made to secure the funding for The Evil Dead, called Within the Woods.

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Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988)

"Listen sister, if I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you."

For myself growing up in secluded, 1980's Ireland, I never really understood what the whole 'Elvira' thing was about. We didn't have horror hosts on our native TV stations, and seeing her presenting her well-loved show certainly wasn't a possibility. I have vague recollections of noticing some sort of 'Elvira presents...' series on VHS, but the only real exposure I had to her cult phenomenon was from staring/drooling at the VHS sleeve above. Sadly, I knew, there was no way my mother was going to let me come home with that one. Even worse was the alternate sleeve (below) which really went for the more obvious sex appeal for the meat-head males out there. So, being deprived of her charms in my youth, just how well does her persona hold up today?

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Club Paradise (1986)

"I could have done that dive if I didn't have the diarrhea."

Club Paradise is proof of that age-old Hollywood saying; "You're only as good as your last movie". The film was such a commercial and critical failure that it effectively killed of Harold Ramis' career as a director for nearly ten years, despite the string of hits he had attached to his belt prior to this. Despite the high profile cast, the film was still garnered with Razzies, and floundered onto VHS - it has still yet to receive a DVD release in the UK. Now that the dust has settled nearly 30 years later, does it still live up to its reputation? or has time healed all wounds?
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Sleepaway Camp (1983)

"She's a real carpenter's dream: flat as a board and needs a screw!"

By the time Sleepaway Camp was released, the slasher genre was entering a funk, with major backlash from critics and viewers alike. A lot of it was understandable; the mechanics of Halloween and Friday the 13th had been bastardised and pillaged so much that little seemed fresh in the sub-genre, and the budgets had shrunk so low that every small-time company was getting in on the action. Still, there was life in the bloodied beast even by 1983, and sure A Nightmare on Elm Street was only just around the corner. So just how well does Sleepaway Camp hold up in comparison to its bigger budgeted brothers?

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King Kong Lives (1986)

"What the hell is this? 'Deliverance'?"

For years I had forgotten that this film even existed. I had clearly seen it a few times as a kid, probably when it landed on VHS, but then it somehow got pushed away into the dusty parts of the Attic, bar a few scenes that stuck with me that I somehow attributed to the 1976 remake. So by the time I got around to re-visiting Dino De Laurentiis' re-imagining of the 1933 classic, I was surprised to see the film didn't involve Kong having open heart surgery at some point. After digging around, I was surprised to see that there was indeed a sequel to that film, as final as it seemed in its conclusion, and I had in fact seen it. Time does funny things with memories, but are these films sometimes best left forgotten?

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King Kong (1976)

"There is a girl out there who might be running for her life from some gigantic turned-on ape."

Updating King Kong for a modern audience was never going to be an easy task, especially not in the 70's.  The original film was lodged in audiences memories for a multitude of reasons, but what endured was the heart and drama of the story, and the truly excellent special effects by stop motion pioneer, Willie O'Brien. Preserving, or indeed, improving upon the soul of the original wouldn't be the hardest task. No, the toughest part of this re-boot was going to fall on the special effects team; just how do you film a giant, "Neither beast nor man" creature in a way that would convince the more 'sophisticated' cinema fans of 1976. The challenge was going to lie in the fact that special effects hadn't really changed all that much in terms of technique since the original film in 1933; there were no computer assisted creations, and it was all going to have to be done 'in camera', meaning either stop motion or animatronics. Would the production team have the creativity and, let's be honest, madness to pull this off?

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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

"You coonshits, you fudge packers, you'll be the death of me yet!"

It's late at night on a quiet stretch of Texas highway. Two drunk jocks, Buzz and Rick, are cruising on their way to Dallas, and decide to ring rock DJ 'Stretch' (Caroline Williams; The Legend of Billie Jean, Stepfather II) on her late-night show to give her shit. Unable to get them off the phone, she's forced to keep the line open, becoming more and more frustrated with their drunken nonsense. Suddenly, things take a turn for the scary - a truck starts tailing the two buffoons, nearly running them off the road. Suddenly, a hooded figure leaps up from the back of the truck wielding a chainsaw, and begins to carve their car open. Rick takes a few shots at the mad man with his revolver, but it's too late - Buzz has literally had his head sliced in half, spurting blood all over the car... all while the horrified Stretch listens on.

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Summer School (1987)

"You passed and I failed! You asshole! How could you do that to me?"

It's the last day of school, and most kids are dreaming of the unknown pleasures of what lies ahead that summer. Hanging with friends, going on holidays, lazing by the beach during the day before heading to the endless parties at night. When you are a teenager, the summer really does feel endless, and the thoughts of school never come into play until you start realising the evenings are getting shorter, and the inevitable is about to happen: all good things must come to an end.

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Six Pack (1982)

"Kick his ass, Brewster! Don't take that shit from this fungus faced toad sucker!"

Recovering from a car crash that almost put him off the road permanently, rugged, bearded, Brewster Baker (Kenny Rogers; Kenny Rogers as The Gambler) sets out on the trail of a comeback, taking him on the road towards the the racing circuit and back into the spotlight after his dramatic drop out. Unfortunately for him, he stops off in a small, hicksville town and has a bunch of parts stolen from his car strapped to the back of his motor home. Only a short time later, he catches the same van ripping off what's left of his vehicle, which he takes off after in his motor home. He manages to run the culprits off the road and makes a startling discovery: the criminals are a bunch of kids.

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Food of the Gods II (1989)

"No, obesity-breath. This is no ordinary flamethrower. See, I modified this baby myself. I just find the rat, aim, and... kazoom."

One of the reasons as to why I started this blog (back when it was solely for film reviews) was that I was sick of reading 3 or 4 line reviews of films that I felt needed a bit more analysis. You know, the 'I saw this film ten years ago on video, and I don't remember much, but boy was it crummy' kind of reviews that you tend to find on sites like IMDB, especially if you are a viewer of older, less well remembered films as I am. The ratings too can really irk me. I'm a firm believer in not putting a numerical rating on anything I watch; firstly, I don't think that people should just jump to a number on a review and make a decision on whether to watch it or not, and secondly, without context that rating means absolutely nothing. Just because I rate Taxi Driver and say, The Evil Dead the same, does that mean an individual can come to the conclusion that both films are of the same quality or possess the same entertainment value? Of course not, and it's why I don't do it. But sometimes a film gets such a low rating that I have to wonder if those scoring it have actually even seen it. Which brings us to Food of the Gods II.

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Private School (1983)

"Bubba says we did it once and it was very good for both of us, but I was passed out, so I don't remember a thing."

Private School was the very definition of the type of film I wasn't allowed rent when I was a kid. My mother definitely wasn't stupid; sure, if you looked at the poster and saw just the sweet couple kissing, you might think it was innocent enough. But then the girls mooning comes into focus, as does the tag line, "You won't believe what goes on and what comes off in...". It's no surprise I wanted to watch this one. But as we all know, what one might find funny and titillating as a kid can be very different as an adult - so how does this one hold up?

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Night Shift (1982)

"Oh, that Barney Rubble. What an actor!"

There must have been something in the air between '82 and '83, what with the glut of films that came out involving generally straight-laced guys becoming pimps. Risky Business is probably the best known, while the Dan Aykroyd starring Doctor Detroit is nearly forgotten about at this point. Sitting somewhere in between these two is Night Shift; not exactly a cult classic, but not destitute and dusty on the shelf, either.

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Late-night Frights: The Monster That Challenged The World (1957)

"From the instant they're born, they're hungry!"

I had so much fun revisiting the Godzilla series recently, that I've decided to include classic creature features here on the blog. I can't see too many complaining; most of us were reared on this stuff, so it's definitely fitting. And hey, the more monsters the better, right?

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