Saturday the 14th (1981)

"When I get that book, I will rule the world! Think of it - famine! War! Death!"

Saturday the 14th and its sequel - Saturday the 14th Strikes Back - were always sat on the dustiest, darkest part of the video shop shelf. No doubt the film did enough business on its initial release (especially to warrant a sequel) but by the time I was stalking the aisles they probably hadn't been touched, let alone rented, in years. Still, what could be more appealling than that video cover to a ten year old? Well, a ten year old like me, I guess. It has everything you could want; Terror! Monsters! Artist interpretations of what the film is about! And hey, promises of an outrageous horror-comedy spoof!

The film definitely does not live up to its artwork, or its own trumpet blowing, for that matter. But, that doesn't mean it isn't good fun. After inheriting a rundown, spooky house from their deceased uncle, John and Mary (Richard Benjamin and Paula Prentiss) take the plunge and move in with their two kids, Billy and Debbie. The fact that they own the house doesn't seem to bother the estate agent who is trying to sell it to the creepy vampire, Waldemor (Jeffrey Tambor) and his sexy lady (Nancy Lee Andrews). It seems there is something inside the house that Waldemor wants... the book of evil that the uncle warned not to open, perhaps?

The suitcases have barely hit the floor before young Billy has the book open, unleashing a bunch of monsters in the process. Funnily enough, none of the rest of the family seem to notice the werewolves, fishmen or other indescribable creatures that start lurking around the house. Both John and Mary are clueless that anything is amiss; Mary has issues distinguishing the difference between owls and bats, and John fails to listen when a hairy bug eyed monster is trying to eat his son in his bed. Eventually, after Mary gets attacked by owls, I mean, bats, they call in an exterminator, who happens to be Van Helsing (Severn Darden). He informs them that the monsters will be able to take over the world at midnight on Saturday the 14th, and they have until then to stop the evil...

As you might expect, Saturday the 14th is pretty silly. From the opening scene the bad puns get thrown about with nary a care if any of the gags work. The film is camp and cheap, but the actors seem to be in on the joke. Some moments are very funny, like when Mary is greeted by an attic full of bats, or the TV that constantly plays Twilight Zone episodes, or the neighbour asking the bloodthirsty monster if it has seen her husband. Jeffery Tambor has some good vampire puns that he delivers unashamedly. The film has plenty of visual gags, too. For every moment that works, (Mary polishing a rotted skull in the kitchen absentmindedly) there are a few that don't (the monster sneaking around behind Dad in the bedroom, pantomime-style).

In terms of horror, it's hard to find anything actually scary in the film, but it does have a few sequences that work well enough. The best is probably when Debbie the daughter goes to take a bath, only to find a Creature From the Black Lagoon-style Gill Man hiding in the tub. Not exactly terrifying stuff, but this and the scene with the monster trying to get Billy in his bed would be enough to scare young kids. The creatures themselves look well enough for the cheap monster suits that they are, and they fit the tone of the film just fine. In terms of other special effects, you get some patchy animated bat transformations and a really good looking severed head. The best thing the film has going for it though is the set design of the house. It is probably one of the best looking haunted house sets I've seen in ages; it really captured the fun, campy, Halloween-ish vibe that the film was going for. Combine that with the constant thunder storms and dry ice and you have a surprisingly atmospheric little film.

Acting wise, it's a pretty mixed bag, though everyone seems to be having a good time on screen. Kevin Brando who plays Billy does fine in his scrappy role, as does Kari Michealsen as his sister. She looks really young, despite her age, and it made me almost question the bathtub scene. Almost. Both Richard Benjamin and Paula Prentiss are choppy enough in their roles, but they don't seem out of place though. Jeffrey Tambor is enjoyable in one of his earliest film roles. The film was directed by Howard R. Cohen, who made a living writing for the Corman factory in the 70's and 80's, with such B- Movie classics as Barbarian Queen, Death Stalker and Vampire Hookers under his belt. Strangely enough, he is also listed with a bunch of Care Bears credits.

I can imagine the film only working for you if you saw it as a kid. Re-watching it brought back a lot of memories, and I had a good time with it (both from nostalgia and as a lover of fun atmospheric comedy horror). Coming at it fresh as an adult... well, I can imagine most normal people would find it a groan-worthy turd. I guess the problem is the film is aimed at kids, but the BBFC saw fit to rate it a 15 in the UK, despite its PG status in the states. Even with the high level of silliness, the film has a few deaths and moments that would potentially upset young kids. Anyone over 15 would have found this too tame though, back in the day. It's a pity that it will probably be a forgotten film, but at least there is a small cult following for it. if you are a fan of cheese-fests like Ghoulies or Transylvania 6-5000, grab yourself some beers and let the daftness wash over you. You will have a blast with it.