My Best Friend is a Vampire (1987)

"She sucked your what??!"

As if dealing with being a teenager wasn't quite bad enough, American filmmakers decided to throw a whole bunch of other problems into the mix, just to make things that little bit more awkward. It was no surprise that they turned to a few classic horror tropes to mingle with the laughs, resulting in the likes of Teen Wolf and, erm, Teen Witch hitting the screens and causing a ruckus. Comedy horror hybrids were big business in those days, thanks to the likes of American Werewolf in London, Return of the Living Dead and Gremlins, and it made plenty of sense to appeal to the younger market with teen-led films in the sub-genre. My Best Friend is a Vampire is a bit of an odd one then, in that, despite the premise, it nearly entirely eschews the horror elements in favour of out-and-out comedy. 

Gawky teenager Jeremy (Robert Sean Leonard; Dead poets Society, Married to It) is having an unusual dilemma: a cheerleader has the hots for him, but has his eye on socially awkward musician, Darla (Cheryl Pollak; Pump Up the Volume). In fact, he is dreaming about her every night, and unfortunately for him, his dreams keep getting invaded by a sexy, older babe hellbent on seducing him.

While out doing a grocery delivery for the store he works in part-time, Jeremy makes a shocking discovery. The sexy, dream invading woman has moved into his neighbourhood, and she makes no bones about trying to seduce him straight away. Inviting him back later that night to the seemingly run-down house, she drags him into the sack and sinks her pointed teeth into his neck. At this point a pair of vampire hunters bust in, lead by Professor McCarthy (David Warner; Waxwork, Time Bandits) and they burn the house down. Jeremy escapes with the help of his obnoxious friend, Ralph (Evan Mirand), but being dopey teenagers, don't think anything of the obvious fang marks in Jeremy's neck.

Soon the vampiric ways begin to take a grip on Jeremy. An old vampire shows up and teaches him to get along with the world, and not to get bogged down in killing victims. Why bother when there are 24 hour pigs-blood salesmen around? But the vampire hunters are out to get them, Ralph included. Can Jeremy get rid of them for good? Will he be stuck as a vampire forever? And will he finally get it on with Darla?

There are no points in My Best Friend is a Vampire where the film ever takes itself too seriously, and that's a good thing. By sidestepping any attempts at horror (bar the initial 'love bite', there isn't even any blood in the film) the focus is instead given to making a fun 90 minutes that doesn't try and waste time on badly done atmosphere or effects that the budget couldn't afford. What you get is a (mostly) decent cast doing their best with a humorous script, and the film works for the most part. The jokes are quite funny in places (when Jeremy can't see his reflection in the mirror, his response is, "Huh, this mirror stopped working!") and some of the running gags (his parents thinking he has turned gay, for example) are handled much better than you would expect. Other slightly semi surreal moments work too, such as the montage of Jeremy accepting he is a vampire. Que the dry ice, the 'Future's so Bright I Gotta Wear Shades' on the soundtrack, and Jeremy opening a can of pigs blood from a mini fridge. Head scratching, for sure, but somehow it works in terms of comedy.

As mentioned above, the film looks quite low budget. Despite this though, the camera work is consistently stylish throughout, and they definitely made the best of what they had. We even get two semi car chases to liven the action up. The cast is what really holds it together, though.Robert Sean Leonard makes an unusual leading man; he is thin, geeky, almost feminine. But, it's casting like this that can make a film, and despite a shaky first few minutes, he delivers a likable performance. David Warner is great, but that's no surprise. His oafish sidekick is played by Paul Wilson, who does a good line in moronic comedy. Evan Mirand as the best friend actually gets some of the better lines, and does a decent job as the slobbish-but-lovable Ralph. Rene Auberjonois is excellent as the older, wiser vampire who shows Jeremy the ropes. The one weak link is the love interest; Cheryl Pollack. The romance aspect of the film is handled nicely, and you genuinely want the characters to get together. Sadly though, Pollack's performance lets it down a bit, as she has some terrible delivery (I cringed on her "Oh, no problem; I'm carrying a can of invisible hairspray!" line. Sure, it's hardly Yeats she's quoting, but was that the best take she gave?), and her awful costumes don't help her cause either.

The soundtrack is worth mentioning, as it features a few key tunes from Blondie, Oingo Boingo, Tim Kelly and Timbuk 3. The film is directed by Jimmy Huston, who also directed the classic B slasher, Final Exam. For the most part he keeps things together. The opening sequence where Jeremy is recounting his dream via voice over is not a great start to the film, and I could imagine many writing it off straight away. The delivery, tone and pacing just feels wrong, and I was worried the whole film was going to be a disaster. Luckily it finds its feet around the 15 minute mark, and after that the running time breezes by. The climax is fairly tension free, but that's the price paid for sacrificing the horror for laughs. Still, it feels in key with the gentle tone established throughout, and one of the rare films I've seen with a 'horror' tag that has a zero body count.

My Best Friend is a Vampire isn't a Fright Night or Lost Boys. It's not even a Teen Wolf, to be honest. But it is enjoyable, and with the right group of people I can see it being a fun experience. The jokes are funny and the characters are likable. If your copy of Saturday the 14th is wearing out and you need something goofy to fill in for it, give it a shot.