Spookies (1986)

"Uuuuuuhh, look at me: I'm Duke, the horny ghost!"

Sporting some of the finest video art that the 80's had to offer, it wasn't hard for Spookies to stick out on the shelves, promising mucho monster action and terror. However, when watching the film, you get the feeling that something rather peculiar is going on, but for some reason you can't figure out what it is. The monsters are there. The awful acting is there. The requisite creepy house is there. Even the death-like demon on the back cover is there, scythe and all. So why the hell is my brain so confused?

We open with a young boy named Billy running away from home as his parents forgot his birthday. after coming through the woods, he enters an old abandoned mansion and finds the kitchen covered in birthday decorations and presents. The bright spark thinks it's a surprise party his parents are throwing for him, despite the high levels of dust and creepiness about the place. Opening a present, he discovers a severed head, which finally sends him running and screaming. He is then clawed to death by a strange cat-like creature with a hook for a hand, and subsequently buried in the woods. You see, the house is actually occupied by an old, vampish wizard by the name of Kreon (Felix Ward), who plans on using human souls to keep alive the body of his sleeping lover.

Luckily for him, there happens to be two cars heading his way full of obnoxious humans looking for a party. The abandoned mansion seems like a good place to start, right? After entering, they discover what looks like some strange form of Ouija board. They accidentally summon monsters that attempt to trap them all over the house, and one-by-one they are picked off. Sprinkled throughout this are long, meandering soliloquies by Kreon to his sleeping bride, who does eventually wake up. Will anyone survive the terror that lurks in the dark corners of the mansion? Will Kreon get all the souls he needs? Who is that kid in the blue face paint and hoodie? What do you mean you don't care?

To say Spookies is a mess is an understatement. As it plays on screen, nothing really works. There is no tension or atmosphere. Characters seemingly have no connection to each other. Even the monster effects don't seem to be that effective. The problem is, Spookies isn't just one film; it's actually the bastard child of two separate shoots that have been blended together. You see, it actually began as a film called Twisted Souls, directed and produced by Brendan Faulkner and Thomas Doran. Something went wrong however in post, and legally the film was taken away from them by execs before it could have been edited or mixed. The legal holders of the project then hired another director to shoot new footage and story (this may have been a legal requirement) to make up 50% of the new film, which became Spookies. The characters looking to party and the majority of the monsters belong to the original shoot, whilst everything involving Kreon, his bride and the cat-like creature are part of the new shoot. No wonder it hardly makes sense...

The result of this cinematic gang-bang is a hodge-podge of ideas that doesn't come even close to gelling together. It feels like that episode of The Simpsons when they are shooting Radioactive Man, and are forced to complete the film without Millhouse. It chops and changes, never feeling coherent. The acting is pretty appalling from all concerned, re-shoots or no re-shoots. Just why are these adult characters travelling together? It's like a gang of thugs, a wannabe magician and someones aunt and uncle decided to hang out for an evening. And all of that is from the original film. Yikes. But to be fair, it may have been explained in one of the many scenes that never made the cut. I can imagine there was a lot of exposition dropped.

It isn't all bad, though. The monsters take up plenty of screen time, and for the most, deliver well on the promises of the box art. We get witches, small demons, farting mud men, a woman-spider thingy that drains its victim, a tentacled electric creature and a bunch of gory looking zombies. The design on them all is original, with my favourites being the mud men (so many fart sounds) and the tentacled monster. The zombies, despite being from the second shoot, look surprisingly good, and the climax in which the last surviving female is chased through the woods is actually quite effective. It's probably the one scene with any real tension, so enjoy it while it lasts! Whilst there is plenty of monster action, the gore quota is low enough. Not that it needs it; there is plenty of slime and grue that does just fine. 

Despite all of these problems, I don't hate Spookies. It entertains in the same way that many other, less troubled productions from the same era do; on cheese ball charm alone. The film is never boring, and the regular pacing of the creatures keeps things lively. The problem is, once you become aware of what happened behind the scenes, it's very hard to watch it without mentally changing gears every time you notice the newer footage. It does become quite distracting, but you could probably make it into a drinking game to keep you going. Sadly, I don't think we will ever get to see what the original film of Twisted Souls could have been; who knows, it might not have been much better than this finished product. Either way, you should get some entertainment from Spookies, even if it is for all the wrong reasons.