Hot Dog: The Movie (1984)

"I suppose a fuck is out of the question?"

Following in the tradition of "rowdy-underdogs-versus-the-snooty-establishment" laid out by such classics as Caddyshack and National Lampoons Animal House, Hot Dog - The Movie sets itself aside by going for the original enough idea of having the action take place at a ski resort.

Harkin Banks (Patrick Houser: Weekend Pass, Endangered Species) is a young, good looking dude on his way to Squaw Valley for a skiing tournament. On the road he picks up pretty-young-thing, Sunny (Tracy Smith; Bachelor Party) who has run away from home. After Harkin doesn't put the moves on her the first night, she decides to head on to the ski tournament with him to see some slope action. Once there they meet up with Dan O'Callaghan (David Naughton; Midnight Madness, An American Werewolf in London) and the rest of the misfits that make up the American entrants. He also meets Rudi, (John Patrick Reger) the arrogant Austrian, three-time winner of the tournament who takes an instant disliking to him, despite Harkins' best intentions.

It being an early 80's teen sex comedy, it doesn't take long for Harkin and Sunny to get it on. The path to love is never simple, though. Sunny objects to Hark thinking they are an item, and that night at a party hosted by the Austrian team, Hark is seduced by the sultry Sylvia (Shannon Tweed; Meatballs III, Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death), who also happens to be Rudi's main lady. When Sunny spots him in the hot tub getting it on, she ends up bonking Rudi as payback. With the lovers out of sorts with each other, attention turns to the main reason to be on the mountain (apart from the sex); the competition. Will Hark win back Sunny? Will the goofballs beat the evil Austrians? Who will be declared winner of the infamous Chinese Downhill Race?

As mentioned, it being an early 80's teen sex comedy, it isn't too hard to figure out the answers to the questions above. It's a low budget Animal House, and it never tries to aim any higher, which is just fine with me. There is plenty of silliness and nudity to keep most male viewers more than happy. From the start the sex jokes get thrown around freely with highlights including the very naked motel lady putting on a towel to go to reception, an out-of-control wet t-shirt competition, the drunk fool Squirrel trying the worst chat up line at a party, and probably the best line in the film, "Do you know what I had for breakfast this morning rookie? How do you say... I had Sonny side up, und I had Sonny side down, und I had Sonny side all ze vay around". The night time ice hockey game is good fun, too. We also get plenty of dodgy racial stereotyping (as par for the course from the era) with the 'hilarious' piss-taking of Europeans and the wacky Japanese guy, Kendo (James Saito; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). The script is hardly there at all, but there is enough to keep you interested for the running time.

It's just a pity that the one thing that sets the film aside from the other knock-offs of the era, IE, the ski resort angle, is the one thing that stops it from being a much better film. You see, we get quite a few segments of competition footage, which are actually filmed beautifully. Lots of slow motion, ski stunts and jumps, etc. But because we get a good 15-20 minutes of this stuff, it means we are trading off on some much needed character scenes and gags. The relationship between Hark and Sunny is sorely under developed after they have their fight, and in fact, it never really gets resolved on screen. They just seem to be together at the end of the film. It's a pity, as a better treatment of this storyline would have lifted the film up quite a bit and made it feel much less hap-hazard and thrown together. We also never get much of a feel for David Naughton's character, and he was screaming out to be in much better use. Same goes for many of the secondary characters, like Rudi, or Squirrel. There just isn't enough screen time for them to get more scenes or jokes.

I know it might seem odd to criticise a sex comedy for lack of character, but plenty of others in the genre manage to do it right. It's the reason why Caddyshack, Porkys, etc, are so endlessly re-watchable, as they pack the films tight with scenes that are played solely for the amusement of the audience (plot be damned), but allow those characters to stick in our minds long after. But, the main reason people will come to this film is primarily for the nudity and gags, so I will leave off for now. The nudity pays out in spades, with plenty of full frontal. In fact, pretty much every female (bar one that I can think of) shows some skin at some point. Shannon Tweed really sticks out, and it's not a surprise that she had quite the career in straight-to-video stuff for decades after. 

The rest of the acting is so-so. Patrick Houser is passable in the lead role, but has that 'dumb innocent boy from the country' thing down. Tracy Smith is only OK, and her scenes with Houser never really set the film on fire. It's a pity once again that the drama between them wasn't better handled, as it could have been interesting in a The Last American Virgin kinda way. David Naughton feels wasted here, we know what he can do with the right script with comedy. Director Peter Markle doesn't have much to work with, but manages to keep the film looking good for its low budget. He went on to make the likes of Wagons East before having a healthy career in TV. The music used throughout is another bone of contention with me. Several of the tracks are re-used over and over, and to be honest, I don't think they really fit the film too well. It sounds like some AOR stuff, when I think a punchier, new wave soundtrack would have done wonders for it. 

Despite all the issues with the film, it does somehow manage to build up some reasonable tension for the climactic 'Chinese Downhill Race', where there are no rules. The good guys win, and the nasty Austrians go home with their tails between their legs. If you need some cheap laughs and sex to fill out a double bill on a Friday night, then this one will do just fine. It's definitely a six beer movie. Oh yeah, wondering why it's called 'Hot Dog'? Apparently that's what this kind of skiing was called back then. I learned something! And people say you these types of film rot your brain...